When is it okay to move on?

I was divorced in march after almost three years of marriage, two baby girls. I have my faults. He was very angry, not affectionate, complainer, never helped, not even with the outside stuff, put his family and friends before me and my children and the list can go on and on. Still, despite all of this, it is hard for me to move on although he walked out on me after I refused to let his grown man friend live with us and free load for several months while I made the majority of the money. I felt like I could support my husband all day, but why should I support another grown man? Well, why can't i get over this man. He is still very angry and cold to me just like in the marriage. Is it because he was my first relationship? I've reconnected with a friend who is everything any woman would want in a man and I will not let myself get serious with him. I just want to be friends although the new guy wants me and my children. What is wrong with me? Am I just being careful or does my ex have some kinda control over me....