Am I crazy or what? (advice anyone)?

I've had this problem since senior year. I hired two boys to model for me, for my paintings one time back in 2007. when I asked them they were very kind and said yes. I asked them to meet me in front of the school at lunch time. I was sort of geeky and over wheight back then and I never thought they would come. but when I showed up there they were wating for me so then I started drawing them. when I was done they went on there way. both of the guys were so sweet and nice. at that time I was'int intrested in boys. Then we all graduated from school and I rememberd the painting I made of the two guys and then I began taking the sketches that I drew of them and I made saperate paintings. belive it or not I I began to fall for one of the paintings of one of the guys. the more I painted him the more it grew on me. to this day I have feelings for the guy. it's been 4 years later and of course I've lost wheight and I still like him. I dream about him more than any other person. but foutunatly he's got a girlfriend, I know this because I'm his friend on facebook. his girlfriend is beautiful and she has a nice smile. usualy girls hate the girlfriends of the one they like. but I'm not that way infact I'm happy for her because she has a wonderful boyfriend and it's not her fault it just happend for her. she must be very special to have a kind person like him. so am I crazy to like someone for 4 years strait or just crazy for falling for a guy in my paintings. who knows..... I just wish he would know how I felt.... (advice anyone)