Lesbian Depression Breakup Lasting?

I'm a girl and 3 years ago I had this girlfriend... I had feelings for her even she was a girl... I mistook her skinship as love... She was hugging and kissing me all the time... I know she does the same to others... but I guess feeling that hug and kiss of her made me feel different towards her... I misinterpreted it as my heart took it into a form of deep love... my first love... I wanted to monopolize those hugs and kisses... so i confessed to her... but our relationship lasted only for a week... she said that she answered me because she wanted to make me happy... (honestly it was like a form of pity) I never got to confront her after high school... after a year she texted me and said she was sorry (it was a short message)... I just gulped my sadness and texted her that I'm okay already... and now after three years... I feel in a state of depression every now and then... no one knows of this relationship except me and her... and I don't know what to do... I wanna talk to her... my state of mental depression is at risk (haven't seen a psychiatrist though)... but I don't know if I can like message her... My pride is at stake too... Please help... Would talking to her to wrap up things and end these feelings of depression? I dunno really... There are times that at night I still feel so sad that I suddenly shout out her name without realizing it... I don;t have friends to talk to about this... or family to tell this secret about.... Help....